poop on papa - fact & fiction

​Grandma snuggled with her grandchildren.  The old lady looked at her grandkids who were getting ready to hear one of her ridiculous stories and said, “Today, I think I will tell you a story about your Papa.  Now, this story is very true.  But it also has a part that is not true.  So, this story is both fact and fiction.  As I tell the story, see if you can figure out which things are real and what is not real.  Let the story begin!”
 
A while back, when your parents were little, Papa and Grandma decided to take a trip to Grant’s Farm in St. Louis.  Their children, Andy and Dan, were excited.  Christa was not excited because she wasn’t born yet.  Andy and Dan were looking forward to seeing the horses, eating soft pretzels, and best of all – going to the petting zoo.  This was going to be a FUN day!  Little did we know that it was going to be fun for everyone except PAPA!
 
The family was enjoying the trip.  Grant’s farm was an exciting place.  Andy and Dan had explored much of what Grant’s Farm had to offer.  Now, it was time for the petting zoo.  Andy and Dan were eager to pet all the animals.  Papa had told the boys that they might even be able to feed some of God’s creatures.  So, into the petting zoo they went.
 
Andy & Dan were not afraid to touch and pet those gentle animals.  Papa bought some special food that the animals could eat.  Mommy and the boys were busy enjoying the feeding frenzy.  Papa went over to feed the goats when he noticed a nanny goat standing on a park bench.  The nanny goat had a big belly; she was going to have a baby.  She looked hungry.  So, Papa walked over to the nanny goat and let her eat out of his hand. 
 
Little did Papa know that in the tree above him was a guinea hen.  The guinea hen looked down and saw a good target.  She had a belly ache and needed to poop.  Papa was nicely petting and feeding the nanny goat when he felt something tap him on the shoulder.  He turned around but no one was there.  He heard a guinea hen calling to him, “Sorry, I tried to hold it in.  But you kept feeding that goat, and the poo just started to flow out of me.”
 
Papa looked at his shoulder, and there was a big pile of poop.  Now this was a big guinea hen, so it really was a big pile of poo.  Papa shook his fist at the guinea hen.  Then he gritted his teeth.  He even said a few words that I won’t mention under his breath.  Ohhhhhhh was Papa mad!
 
Andy and Dan had walked over to see what Papa was up to.  Their eyes grew wide!  “Daddy!” they screamed, “There’s poop all over your back!”  Papa ran to find a restroom.  In the restroom, Papa proceeded to take off his shirt and wash it in the sink.  He was calling the guinea hen names as he took care of business.  Then he had to put on that wet shirt, and Papa was not happy.
 
Back at the petting zoo, mommy and the boys were laughing so hard that they almost peed their pants.  Poor Papa he had to wear that wet poopy shirt the rest of the day.  Luckily the sun was out, so the shirt did dry after a while.  This was a day that the family would never forget.  AND it was not the last time that a bird pooped on Papa!
 
Did you figure out what was fact and what was fiction?  The answer is below:
Everything in this story is true except for one part – The part where the guinea hen talks.  Guinea hens can’t talk so the part where the guinea hen talks to Papa is not true. 
Poor Papa really was pooped on by a guinea hen!
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Written for my grandchildren during the virus – May 6, 2020
 
BEcky